Kiss Me Goodbye
by mistress amethyst une
Summary: What if it had been Kathryn who died in Chakotay's arms instead of Seven? One-shot. Prequel to Inevitable.


**Disclaimer:** ST: VOY is not mine.

**Kiss Me Goodbye**

**By mistress amethyst une**

She was gasping in his arms, clutching at his uniform even as she bled all over him. A gash was prominent on her once proud forehead. Her lips were torn and stained red from something other than the feminine war paint she called lipstick. Her cheeks were bruised black instead of healthily blushing as they had been just hours ago. No blood was seeping from her torso though that part of her was visibly singed from being blasted by an alien weapon. Her wounded palms soaked him in enough warm crimson to make up for that little lack of injury. She was most probably bleeding internally from that hit anyway…

"Seven… Is she alright? D-did I save her?" she asked. Her blue eyes were teary from pain even as they bore into his own brown ones. His eyes were threatening to spill his sadness as well, but he did all he could to be strong for her.

"Yes… You managed to get her beamed to safety," he assured her.

She managed a weak smile. "I- I'm glad… wouldn't know w-what to do… my f-fault if you lost her…"

He shook his head and said his next words with as much conviction as he could. "No. She disobeyed orders. She went down here after you told her not to. Not your fault, Kathryn. Kathryn, why? Why did you go after her?"

"Y-you love her… couldn't let her die. H-hate me for it…"

He broke down at those words. "I was going to leave her! Just a few more months. I was going to go to you. Marrying her was a mistake…"

Her eyes widened in pain that definitely went beyond the physical, "W-why? N-never t-told…"

"The time wasn't right."

"The time wasn't ever going to be right, was it?" his mind added, taunting him. "We were doomed from the moment I beamed onto her bridge."

Silently, he cursed the spirits for his damned fate.

She began to sob both from pain and grief at what could never be. "W-won't m-make it…"

He swallowed the lump in his throat refusing to believe the truth that spilled from her bloodied lips.

Their situation was horrid. His marriage to Seven had gotten rocky. Kathryn had distanced herself from them since having to perform the wedding ceremony. He had intended to end the marriage after realizing just how bad a match he and his young blonde borg wife were. Hadn't he learned his lesson when he dealt with Riley?

Just a few months after their relationship had been made official; Chakotay finally saw how imperfect his wife's perfection was. He didn't meet her standards at all but was bent on turning him into her ideal husband. It had driven him mad when he'd found out about how Seven had dated a hologram of him and expected him to act just like the replica she'd made. Like her ideal of the perfect man in his image. He had intended to let her down easy in a few months' time. He'd been dropping hints about ending it left and right so she wouldn't be too surprised. He'd been avoiding her and had even taken to sleeping on the couch of their shared quarters. Seven couldn't take a hint and just tried even more desperately to cling to him. To top it all off, she decided to pull this stunt.

The ship had been low on dilithium but the planet they'd found deposits on had hostile inhabitants. His wife had beamed down, without permission, to retrieve some for the ship only to find herself under attack. Kathryn had taken it upon herself to personally retrieve Seven. She'd been enraged at the outright insubordination and had turned irrational. Chakotay knew he had no right to oppose her after breaking his promise to stay by her side and neglecting her for so long. All he had to hope for was that after this situation was resolved and he'd finally left Seven, Kathryn would forgive him and, at the very least, be his friend again. He had insisted on coming along to assist her and she'd grudgingly agreed. He was Seven's husband after all. He would probably have better luck dealing with his wife than Kathryn would. He knew his wife had done this to get his attention and play the ship's heroine. Well, she definitely had his full attention now and not in a good way.

Upon arriving on the planet, Kathryn had distracted the natives so Chakotay could get Seven within transporter range. He would have beamed up as well had he not seen Kathryn get blasted. She hadn't wanted to hurt the inhabitants and had failed to draw her phaser in time. He ran towards her, picked her up and carried her to safety willing his legs to dash at as rapid a pace as possible. They weren't pursued but he had decided to hide behind the nearest rock he could find as an extra safety measure.

"_Chakotay to Voyager. Two to beam up."_

_B'Elanna replied with something he definitely hadn't wanted to hear. "Transporters are down. We exhausted them when we brought Seven aboard. We're going to need that dilithium to get them functioning again."_

"_Can you send a shuttle?"_

"_Commander Tuvok is getting to that. A shuttle will be launched and will reach your coordinates in approximately one hour. There's an ion storm in the upper atmosphere, so that's the best we can do. They'll be well-armed and will retrieve dilithium for the ship too. We know the Captain's wanted to avoid hostilities with the natives of this planet but our need for energy outweighs the risk."_

"_The captain is injured."_

_B'Elanna gave a pause that indicated her worry. Still, she wasn't about to let her emotions get the better of her in this dire situation._

"_I'll tell Commander Tuvok to send the EMH on the away team. Take care of her, Chakotay."_

"_Understood. Chakotay out."_

Chakotay shook his head. It would still be forty five minutes before the shuttle arrived and the Captain was slipping away. Aside from being blasted, she had been considerably roughed up while running from the natives and tripping over the hostile terrain. That was where the cuts on her hands had come from. From constantly falling over and having to catch herself because he wasn't there to stop her from colliding with the ground. No, he'd been busy carrying Seven's unconscious form to a spot within transporter range as Kathryn made herself bait. If he wasn't married to the girl, one could have seen this as a rather touching scene. Daddy carrying his rebellious daughter to safety while Mommy tried to keep them safe by distracting the approaching danger.

He felt almost sick at the idea of what his marriage was. It was a union built on his middle age crisis and Seven's Daddy complex. How could he ever have thought it would work? So damn blind!

He eyed his Captain's injured body and fondly brushed a stray hair from her bleeding forehead. Her eyes never left his face. Suddenly she stirred and brought a hand up to her neck plucking at her four Captain's pips. She took his hand and pressed her rank insignia into his palm.

"C- captain," she told him. "G-get home… o-order…"

He panicked upon realizing what she was trying to do. She had made peace with the fact that she was going to die and was turning over command of Voyager to him.

"No! Kathryn… I can't take your pips. I can't be Captain! You'll make it!"

She shook her head and winced at the pain brought about by the slight motion, "No… l-last wish, C-captain… mind?"

Tears streamed down his face, "I won't let you down."

He closed his fingers around the pips accepting his fate. She smiled.

"Last thing…"

"Anything."

"Don't want to die… without…"

Her breath caught as her eyes fluttered and threatened to close for good.

"Kathryn! Without what? Tell me!"

"K-kiss me goodbye," she gasped weakly. "J-just want to feel… once…"

Her eyes fluttered shut and her last breath escaped her just as their lips met in mutual love for the first and final time. Chakotay would always remember what it tasted like. Not sweet at all. Metallic and salty. Blood and tears. He wept openly as he broke the contact between them, her life staining his mouth. She was dead and not once had he told her he loved her.

* * *

Angsty sap. I don't think I did this plot bunny any justice but I did the best I could. I suck at writing background scenarios and detailed descriptions. Next plot bunny to tackle: Kathryn's POV on Seven's death.


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